"The roots of loneliness are very deep and cannot be touched by optimistic advertisement" Henri Nouwen
By brand identity, I'm not talking business brand here, I'm talking your humanity.
Before we can even venture into healthy tech habits and all the nitty-gritty of digital wellness for our mental and relational health this year, we have to first ask the question, Why? Why are screens replacing so much of our real life and why is our humanity taking a harmful back seat?
When I speak on digital wellness I present the two original purposes (the whys) of technology - productivity & connection. Think airplanes, telephones, factories. When we keep our technology "serving us and not mastering us", as author Gretchen Rubin says, we are using it for its original purpose. We all know that can be a great thing! It sure was this past year when we could FaceTime family to stay connected while in quarantine. Powerful and important social movements and messages changed us and moved us to action. We stayed entertained and bonded over Disney+Mando episodes and yes, all the wonderful memes that got us through 2020 and are still going (hello Bernie!) As well, many of us were able to move school and work home because of our technology serving us.
There is one major aspect that gets in the way of this goal though, and it deeply affects our lives. It is the current place we find ourselves in technology development. It's called The Attention Economy and at the level it has progressed, it is unethical to our humanity, especially the younger generations.
Holding tech accountable to its purposes is vital.
When it comes to screens, our technology is no longer designed to be a tool to help us live life, it's designed to make money off of keeping us engaged. That means when we're on, it's happy and when we get off of it, it's going to find a way to try and lure us back. It uses basic human needs to keep our attention.
What is the very thing we're all wired to long for, even if we don't know it? Belonging. Connection.
Here's what MIT sociologist and psychologist Sherry Turkle says about the over-reliance on technology that is crushing our sense of self. “When they’re always connected, children, adolescents and adults become dependent on the presence of others for validation in the most basic ways,” says Turkle. “They start to need other people to feel validated and they cannot approach others as full, individual, differentiated people.”
Our screens are literally changing our brains to keep us engaged. Here's the most recent example of this happening. Social media, with its dopamine reward system, encourages 24/7 engagement, attaching our minds to it relationally, even when we're not on it. We’re just not made for that and it wears on us, even if we don't know it. The divisive and polarizing arguments, all-eyes-on-me culture, and the voyeuristic crash-and-burn stories going viral. The truth about where social media is headed and how we got here is that humans are involved and being manipulated in a social experiment. We're the product. So it's going to be messy, heartbreaking, and beautiful. The sooner we understand that power and let go of the pressure to try and thrive in the system, the sooner we'll be able to approach our screens with more authenticity, spending our energy where it matters. Your glory, online and off, lies in your understanding of the truth.
The hard part about Snap is it’s a snapshot of the truth.
Here is the truth: Your story and work are deep and wide and all sorts of good, hard, and honest, with so many redemptive layers. Your whole you is not meant to be consumed by a quick scroll and judgment on Insta. For all the beauty and good being created on social media, it can be judgy, and the platform can affect your state of being. So let this sink in.
Your worth is not defined by a logo, post, or filter.
Here is what you are not: You are not a brand. You are not a headshot. You are not a filter. You are not a snap. You are not shallow. You do not have to have the right amount of hearts to have a heart that is valuable. You do not have to subscribe to one way of thinking or being in order to have a voice. You do not have to build your life around what others might want to see or consume from you.
Here is what you are: You are a wonderfully, knit-together, brilliant, intricate, and complicated human being. You are worth being fully known. You are worth time, effort, and pursuit. You are valued, regardless of likes. Your life is sacred and meaningful.
Your moments can be shared or they can be kept to yourself. You get to decide, and learning the power in both will be the key.
How do you know if you are building a life or a brand? Find out on our next email where we'll do some gentle self-observations, I do these check-ins for myself and they help as I am learning and growing here.
Find resources for healthy digital habits at talkmoretechless.com
*sources: center for humane technology, digital wellness institute, pew research center, sherryturkle.mit.edu, unplughq.com, childrensscreentimeactionnetwork, nielsen